“Clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms”
“In My Arms”, Plumb
You might be asking yourself how I’m able to write so nonchalantly about my psychotic boyfriend trying to kill me and then me witnessing him getting his throat ripped out by a blood-crazed vampire.
The answer? Well, for one thing, I think I’m still partially in shock about the whole thing. Second, I think enough time has passed since the incident that I’m able to recount the events accurately and rationally. I want the world to know this story, and fully understand it. So I need to be clear-headed and again, rational,when I tell you what’s happening here. Third… Jude. Thank God for Jude.
I was a complete and total wreck by the time I got to his apartment. I couldn’t even call to tell him I was coming because I’d left the apartment to talk to Ethan with nothing but a sweatshirt and my keys. I didn’t bring my phone. I hadn’t even put on shoes, for christ’s sake.
What little clothing I had on was completely soaked from the rain. My hair was dripping. My legs, feet and hands were cut up and bleeding from falling/crawling/running on the pavement. My cheek stung where Ethan had hit me, and my throat hurt from him choking me. I was sure that bruises were forming all over my body (especially my neck) even as I drove. My body shook from the cold, fear, and convulsive tears as I ran up to the buzzer and rang it over and over as many times as it would let me.
Finally, Jude’s sleep-laced voice sounded over the intercom.
“…Hello?”
“Jude!” I tried to cry out, but my voice was raspy and I choked on a sob.
“Annabelle?” He immediately sounded more alert. “Is that you?”
“Please help me! Open the door!”
The buzzer unlocked the door and I flung it open, racing up the stairs to his third floor apartment.
His door was just opening as I reached the landing.
“Jesus christ, what happened to you?” he said, alarmed, as he took in my appearance. I couldn’t say anything, just threw myself into his arms and wept.
“Annabelle?” he asked, sounding more worried.
I couldn’t get any words past my frantic wailing. Jude picked me up and carried me inside, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He sat down on the couch with me gathered in his lap, wrapping a blanket around me. I clung to him like he was the last stable thing on Earth and buried my face in his shoulder while I cried. His strong arms held me tightly, and I knew that he would take care of me.
Vaguely I registered that Jude was talking to someone who wasn’t me, so I tried to calm down enough to listen to what he was saying.
“Well why the fuck is she in her underwear?” I heard Jess say, obviously unhappy that I was there. Too fucking bad. I didn’t care what kind of shit she was about to pull. My boyfriend tried to kill me and then I watched him get ripped apart by a monster. I fucking win.
“I don’t know, Jess,” Jude said, sounding irritated. “She’s been in such a state I haven’t gotten her to say a word.”
“So, what, is she gonna spend the night or something?” I wasn’t looking at her, but I could practically hear the pout in her voice.
“Of course she’s going to spend the night. Clearly she’s been through something awful and traumatic. She can stay as long as she needs to.” I felt his hand begin rubbing my back.
“No! Absolutely not! I put up with a lot of shit from you where she’s concerned, but I will not tolerate this!”
“Try to be a decent human being for once, Jess,” Jude spat. I’d never heard him be this cross with her before. Any other time I’d have been cheering him on, but at that moment I just wanted him to keep holding me.
“I’ve had enough of this, Jude. You have to choose. It’s either her or me. Take your pick.”
“Her,” he said without a moment’s pause. I felt his lips press against the top of my head.
“WHAT?!” she screeched.
“I choose her. Pack some clothes and get out. I’ll arrange to get the rest of your shit to you later.”
I forced myself to take deeper breaths. Was this really happening?
Jess packed some clothes and left a few minutes later without another word.
+++
After what seemed like hours, I finally stopped crying and got my breathing under control. I was still in Jude’s lap with the blanket and his arms wrapped around me. I was warm enough that I stopped shaking. I just laid still with my head resting against his chest, listening to him breathing.
“Who did this to you?” he finally said. He hadn’t spoken since Jess left.
“Ethan,” I answered, my voice raspy.
“That son of a bitch. I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill that limey bastard.”
“Too late…” I whispered.
“What?!” He pulled away enough to look me in my bloodshot eyes. “Annabelle… you didn’t. Please tell me he started it and it was self defense.”
“I didn’t. It wasn’t me. But I really can’t talk about it right now I just… I can’t…”
I trailed off because I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and I really didn’t want to start crying again.
“No, no, it’s okay. As long as you’re safe. Tell me what you want.”
I took another deep breath to fight off the crying jag. “I think… a shower. And some dry clothes. Is that okay?”
“Of course.”
I slid off his lap and made my way to the bathroom. He brought me a pair of his pajama pants and one of his t-shirts, as well as a clean towel. I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it and began peeling off my wet clothes.
I showered quickly because I was tired of being wet, washing off all the dirt and dried blood. Once I was done I emerged from the bathroom almost feeling like a normal person again.
Jude was waiting for me in the living room. He’d changed clothes as well.
“Feel better?” he asked.
I nodded. “I’m exhausted though. I’m just gonna crash on the couch.”
“Nonsense. Take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Jude, you are way too big to sleep on this tiny-ass loveseat.”
“Then I’ll sleep on the floor,” he argued.
“You know what, why don’t we just share the bed? It’s big enough and we’ve shared plenty of times before and… well, I’m not really ready to be alone yet anyway,” I said sheepishly.
He hesitated for a moment, then nodded and reluctantly followed me into the bedroom.
Without even discussing it, we each got into our respective sides (him on the left, me on the right).
“Some things never change, huh?” I said, pulling the covers over me.
“Guess not. Jess slept on that side, too.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I can’t believe she made me choose.”
I can. Bitch. I hope she gets eaten by a vampire.
I turned on my side to face away from him. His hand rested on my shoulder, running up and down my arm. If we were about six inches closer, we’d have been spooning.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know… I mean, choose me,” I said quietly.
“Yes I did. It’s always been you, Annabelle.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing. Instead I scooted backwards, closing that six-inch distance and pulled his arm tight around me. As I laid there pressed up against him, I felt relaxed and safe for the first time that night.
