Invasion

So… yeah.

I’m 99% certain vampires have invaded my town. My tiny-ass middle of nowhere mountain town.

Believe me, I know how this sounds.

But it all fits. Human bite marks. Sensitivity to sunlight. Extreme aggression and violence.

Jude texted me earlier today to tell me that the doctors decided to give the first victim blood products because his body was rejecting the IV, causing a fluid deficit. Now he’s not dehydrated but he’s stronger. And more aggressive.

See? I’m not crazy. It all fits. So now that I have this information, what do I do with it?

I’ll tell you… Nothing.

It’s not enough. I need more proof if I’m going to convince anyone. I mean, you don’t even believe me, I’m sure. I wouldn’t believe me either. But I know I’m right.

I’m not even sure how to go about getting more proof. I’m not stupid enough to go out and get my vigilante on. I’m not Buffy, or Anita Blake, or whatever other supergirl vampire hunter you can think of.  Sure, I know all the vampire lore and all the various weaknesses and methods of killing them, but this is… unprecedented. Vampires are real. Who even knows which of these myths apply to real vampires? What if I shove a stake through its heart and it doesn’t even slow it down? What if I hold up a cross and instead of cowering it laughs and rips out my jugular?

So until I figure something out, I just have to sit tight. Act like nothing’s wrong. Fuck.

Yesterday before my little revelation I set up a double date for Ethan and I with Jude and Jess. That’s going to happen tonight. Trust me, if I’d known I was going to be faced with the task of proving the existence of vampires in this town, I would have scheduled it for another day.

But I’m not going to reschedule. Things have been going really well with Ethan, except where Jude is concerned, and vice versa. And assuming I figure out what to do and we live through this ordeal, I’d like for them to get along. Neither of them are quite comfortable with my relationship with the other. This dinner was supposed to get them to chillax a little and get used to the idea of one another and the roles they play in my life.

So I’m putting on a brave face (and some makeup) and going to dinner with the two most important men in my life and a crazy bitch who probably wants my head on her mantle.

Damn. When I put it like that, hunting vampires doesn’t sound so scary after all.

Wish me luck.

 

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Published in: on November 10, 2009 at 11:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Epiphany

Yesterday I was on my way home from meeting with a potential client when Jude called me. We chatted for a few minutes, then I said goodbye, hung up, and placed my phone in the cup holder beside me.

I should preface the rest of this part of the story by saying that one of my favorite things to do is sing while I’m driving. Especially when I’m alone in the car because I can be completely uninhibited.

Now, I have pretty eclectic taste in music. I listen to pretty much everything. I mean, literally, my iTunes library would make your head spin– Linda Blair style– then explode. But yesterday after I hung up with Jude, I happened to be rockin’ out to some David Archuleta. About 3/4 of the way through the song, my phone rang. I turned down the volume and answered it. It was Jude again.

“You have a lovely singing voice. If you wanted to serenade me, you didn’t have to be so sneaky about it,” he said.

“Huh? The fuck are you on about?”

“You didn’t hang up the phone. And was that David Archuleta? I thought I taught you better than that. Well, me and Kurt Cobain.”

Oh. Fuck. Me.

All I can say is thank god it was Jude and not Ethan. At least with Jude I have no shame and really can’t embarrass myself any more than I already have since we’ve been friends.

“I’m glad you liked it,”  I said. “You interrupted before I could start taking requests.”

“I’m serious, though. You sound really good, even if the song is lame.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Hey, I remembered what I was going to tell you earlier. I can’t believe I forgot this, I’ve just been so sleep deprived, and Jess is PMSing… Well, anyway. Did you hear that there was another attack last night? Closer to the center of town this time. They found the victim just before sunrise and brought him in.”

Jude is a security guard at our local hospital. Remember that attack that happened on Halloween night? I also mentioned that the bites appear to be human (WTF?). Anyway, Jude must have been on duty when the second victim was brought in last night.

“Any new information about the first victim?” I asked him.

“You know, it’s the strangest thing. I was in his room yesterday while the nurses were bathing him. I don’t usually do that but they wanted me there for extra protection since he’s so violent. If he gets loose, he tries to bite anyone who comes near him. And when I was in his room last night, they had special curtains on his window. I asked the nurse about it and she said it was just a temporary solution until they could find him a windowless room. Apparently he’s really sensitive to the sunlight. He screams and thrashes whenever the room is bright so they just keep it dark all the time.”

My chest was suddenly very heavy. I felt like I was trying to breathe through a pillowcase. This was too familiar. But it couldn’t be… could it?

“What?” I said, just above a whisper.

“You know what else is really weird?” Jude continued, oblivious to my tone of voice. “I overheard the nurses talking a little bit later, and they can’t keep him hydrated. They have him hooked up to an IV but it’s almost like his body is rejecting it. The doctors are totally stumped.”

No. Fucking. Way.

There’s no fucking way.

But it’s all so familiar. It all fits. I know what’s happening. Of course I do. There’s no better authority on this subject for hundreds of miles.

The doctors are all stumped, but I know what it is.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this.

Vampire.

 

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Published in: on November 10, 2009 at 12:51 am  Leave a Comment  
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